In my world, the concept of self-care often feels like an elusive, ever-changing target. Lately, I’ve been forced to confront this reality head-on. A significant decline in my physical health, leaving me unable to walk unaided or sit up without support, has served as a stark reminder of how years of neglecting myself, compounded by recent undefined “attacks,” can manifest in the most debilitating ways.
The journey to prioritizing self-care has been anything but straightforward. My ego, a formidable adversary, constantly throws paralyzing fears, limiting beliefs, guilt, and shame into my path, making it a struggle to even consider taking time for myself. Yet, when it comes to others, I’ve always found it effortless to extend a helping hand, advocate fiercely, and support them in their transitions without a second thought.
Reflecting on this disparity, I realized it’s not just about what I’ve done for others, but how seamlessly and instinctively I did it. This dichotomy led me to explore why self-care for myself feels like such an uphill battle.
The Ego’s Battle
In my work with others, particularly in non-professional social work settings, I’ve been a beacon of support—encouraging self-reflection, promoting the importance of listening to one’s body, and urging individuals to prioritize their needs above all else. I’ve facilitated major life changes for people, helping them break free from toxic jobs and relationships, encouraging them to take bold steps toward better mental and physical health.
When it came to myself, however, my ego stood as a gatekeeper, blocking my path with the very fears and doubts I helped others overcome. This dichotomy illuminated a harsh truth: I had a lot of inner work left to do.
The Journey of Self-Reflection
To bridge this gap, I embarked on a journey of self-reflection, delving into my past and the traumas that have shaped my present. Through visual work, I began picturing myself at different ages, from the past, present, and even future. This exercise created a sense of separateness from me, allowing me to care for myself in the same way I would for others.
By separating these different versions of myself, I could address each one’s unique pain and needs without the interference of my ego. It became clear that many of these parts of me simply needed acknowledgment. They needed to be seen, recognized, felt, loved, and genuinely cared for. The pain didn’t necessarily need to be changed or fixed—just felt and acknowledged so it could be released.
The Power of Acknowledgment
Through this process, I discovered that much of my internal struggle stemmed from unacknowledged emotions and unmet needs. By allowing myself to go back to these different parts of me and address their pain, I found a sense of healing. This approach helped me treat these parts of myself as “other,” making it easier to provide the care they needed without my ego getting in the way.
Acknowledging these feelings, rather than ignoring or burying them, has been transformative. It’s a reminder that self-care isn’t just about the physical actions we take to make ourselves feel good but also about the emotional labor of recognizing and validating our own experiences so there is less pain weighing us down.
Moving Forward
This journey is ongoing, and there is still much work to be done. But each step taken in separating my sense of self, recognizing my needs, and overcoming the ego’s barriers brings me closer to true self-care. It’s a process of continuous self-discovery and compassion.
In my world, self-care means embracing all parts of ourselves, especially those we’ve neglected and ignored for years and years. It means giving ourselves the same grace and support we so readily extend to others. And most importantly, it means acknowledging that self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary.
Call to Action
Remember, you don’t have to go through this process alone. If you’re struggling to take those first steps toward self-care, know that I am here for you. I can be a companion on this journey, offering support and understanding as you navigate the path to self-discovery and healing. It might not always be fun, easy, or even pleasant, but it is worth it. Together, we can face the challenges and celebrate the victories, one step at a time. Reach out, and let’s embark on this journey to self-care and self-love together.
