Dear Beloved Readers,
Today, I want to take you on a journey—a journey into the depths of my own emotions as I confront the darkness of mortality and illness. It’s a journey that traverses the shadows of Bipolar 1 Disorder and progressive kidney disease, shedding light on the raw, unfiltered truth of our human experience.
In therapy, I’ve been diving deep into the tangled web of emotions—peeling back the layers to reveal the underlying signals, behaviors, and long-term effects. It’s been a journey of self-discovery, one that has challenged me to confront emotions I’ve long kept hidden beneath the surface.
Recently, I embarked on an emotional processing exercise that led me on a four-hour rollercoaster ride through the depths of my soul. It was an experience that left me feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally drained, yet strangely liberated by the act of embracing the darkness within.
For years, I had accepted the harsh reality of my conditions—that my life would be shorter and more restricted than I had once envisioned. I had made peace with it, adjusted my mindset, and set out to live each day with purpose and intention. Yet, what I hadn’t done was truly embrace the depth of my emotions surrounding it all.
So I allowed myself to feel. I allowed myself to sit with the discomfort, the pain, and the overwhelming weight of it all. Tears flowed freely as I confronted the harsh realities of mortality and illness—the constant pain, the limitations, the uncertainty of the future.
But amidst the tears and the turmoil, I found a glimmer of strength—a resilience that had been lying dormant within me, waiting to be awakened. I realized that by embracing the darkness, by allowing myself to feel the full spectrum of my emotions, I was reclaiming a sense of agency and empowerment over my own life.
So, dear readers, I invite you to join me on this journey of emotional exploration. Take the time to embrace your own darkness—to sit with the discomfort, the pain, and the uncertainty. For it is in these moments of vulnerability that we find our greatest strength, our deepest truths, and our most profound connections to ourselves and the world around us.
May we continue to support and uplift one another as we navigate the complexities of our shared human experience.
With love and gratitude,
The Twisted Witch
